Coming (out) about (in)fertility
Four years ago I was childless. I now have two daughters. It took my husband and I four years to conceive our first daughter and that happened with the help of ultrasound monitored IUI. Our second daughter was conceived naturally. My four year fertility journey was painful, stressful, tiring, depressing, yet thrilling, exciting, energizing, and scary -a real rollercoaster. Infertility carries with it high levels of anxiety and depression (1). Sometimes your family doesn’t understand. Sometimes your friends don’t understand. Throughout my four year journey I felt alone, sad, anxious, and at times, did not want to carry on. I avoided social events, struggled at work, and in my relationships. Fertility challenges can be a very grueling experience.
As a naturopathic physician who specializes in women’s health and fertility it was even more frustrating at times as I helped several couples conceive almost monthly leaving me with the question -why can’t I get pregnant? Why can’t I help myself? Finally combing naturopathic medicine, acupuncture and assisted reproductive technology at a new fertility clinic (yup, you can change clinics if you are not happy or dissatisfied!) was our breakthrough recipe. Our beautiful and fun loving daughter is now three years old. And when we conceived naturally with our second daughter, taking with me the knowing and personal growth from our previous experience, we were delighted.
It’s Ok to need a little extra help sometimes.
Very few people are truly infertile and for this reason, I prefer not to use the term infertility without extreme sensitivity. When a couple is struggling with fertility, it is no time to make jokes, it is no laughing matter to them. (In)fertility affects 1 in 6 couples and by definition infertility is characterized by the failure to establish a clinical pregnancy after unprotected sexual intercourse for 12 months under the age of 35 or six months over 35 years of age(2).
You very likely have a friend or family member going through an emotional and physically trying fertility journey right now.
My fertility journey was hard, it was long, and it’s mine. I recognize reading this blog post may be a trigger for some (heck -I couldn’t even watch TV for fear of all the baby and pregnancy commercials!). It is my own four year fertility journey, unique to me and my family. I carry it with me into my clinical practice as I think it makes me a better doctor having gone through it. I gained invaluable knowledge both scientific and clinical as well as personal. My experience as both an ND and mother will always be changed by my journey.
If you are struggling with your own fertility journey, naturopathic medicine and acupuncture can help. Book an appointment or contact the clinic to find out how. If you would like to know exactly what we did to be successful in starting our family both with IUI and without, just ask me :)
Resources
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28326521/: Anxiety and depression in women undergoing infertility treatments
https://resolve.org/infertility